Nappy Headed Pro

Against my better judgement, I decided to agree to going with the beer loving crew to the ghettoesque club (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I’m just saying) Panyaza, otherwise known as Club 707 in Central, Soweto. Don’t get me wrong, I think Panyaza is a cool place, the atmosphere is electric, there’s a shisanyama (Barbeque grill) in the vicinity were you can satisfy your beer induced craving for dead animal carcass with a nicely grilled T-bone steak. I’ve already stated before that I’m not a fan of clubs because of the overcrowding, expensive alcohol and incessant dry humping on the dance floor, I had a feeling that they’ll be tons of that ‘cause South African Music Awards album of the year winner, Big Nuz were performing. I like Big Nuz, as a matter of fact, the Durban high-tempo form of Kwaito is the only Kwaito I’m able to tolerate, mainly because they don’t take themselves too seriously, they know they can’t really come up with witty lyrics so they stick to catchy five line verses, bouncy beat and scantily clad UKZN students on their videos who probably didn’t get paid to shake their gluteus maximus on screen (I’m looking at you, Nomfundo).

Anyway, we arrived there at about eleven and the place was crowded, you couldn’t move without accidentally rubbing your pelvis on someone else’s buttocks, literally. Big Nuz hadn’t gotten to perform just yet, some other DJ who lacked the skills to properly mix tracks was on the decks. I interacted with the people around and everybody was cool but then again, I was already six beers in when I got there. Then the main act got on stage, I couldn’t see anything really ( because the stage was set too low) so I can’t comment on their stage presence plus I had to carry someone on my shoulder so that they could se the show, for almost an hour and a half. The sound quality was terrible, I couldn’t hear anything they were saying, but then again, years of playing my earsets at maximum volume + damage in my right ear due to not wearing protective earplugs when I was slaving at the plant(ation) + about ten beers = you not really trusting my opinion on the matter but still the sound quality was terrible. They finished their set and then the DJ who couldn’t mix tracks well came on again, DJ Tira and Big Nuz didn’t leave, they stayed dry humping chicks on stage ‘til the club closed at about three AM. It wasn’t a good show, I wan’t my money back!